What day is it today??

Well, its ‘Friendship Day’.

Its a debate thats often heard in many circles. Are special days important to reiterate how special a person or a relationship is to you?. Or, are such days mere marketing gimmicks by the Archies and Odysseys of the world who come up with such irresistible and innovative gifts that we almost in all cases land up giving in to the splurging temptation.

I have always been the types who attaches significance to all those surprise wishes,  the 12 am calling up and wishing and remembering special occasions and days to celebrate.  After all, whats life without such special moments and thoughts.  Also, considering the quantum of people who hardly express their feelings on other normal, routine days, such days are a definite plus to celebrate that person in their lives. It need not be any material gifts - it could just be a remembrance of special moments or events in your relationship that shows how much u have evolved with him/her.

The downside is that, for every such rationale there is always a counter as to why do we need that one special day to celebrate our relationships. This argument is more prominent during Valentines when almost the entire world goes bonkers finding out nice, cutesy ways of expressing their love for their dear ones and there is this one section of the universe arguing on what exactly is love and why do we need to reiterate it on just that one day of the year!!

However, me being me, today, I remember all my friends during various phases of my life – childhood days, school, college, work. Friendship is such a wonderful and positive feeling – it is the only relationship in which u give so much to a person selflessly despite not being blood related to him (and vice versa). Its also probably the loosely understood word after ‘love’ - thankfully, I have made a clear distinction between an ‘acquaintance’ and ‘friend’; which is why I have a few friends and several acquaintances.

Be that as it may, thanks to social networking, I am still in touch with most of my friends and acquaintances across various corners of the globe.  So, heres to all my virtual and real friends/acquaintances - Happy Friendship Day, Folks!! J. 

Would I be miss being a ‘Miss’ ....

There are several thoughts that my mind is occupied with over the past few days.  I guess it happens with many people who are getting into that different phase of life  - and into a different family as well.

As I am packing my stuff to go to Chennai, my thoughts keep drifting back to the days when I had initially moved into the city about 7 years back as a raw, fresh out of college, girl. Oh, how much has life changed.  It was as if it was only yesterday - me getting angry and upset with my parents for leaving me alone here in this big, bad city, initial troubles with roomies, the ‘home-sickness’ factor, exploring the city with my batch mates, the chats and gossips in the SEBI Gaurav (Oshiwara) benches, which would well extend into mid-nights, the train travel, Nariman Pt., VT and its old-world charm, Thane days, WTC office days, batch friendships, jealousies and new-found friendships– its almost like a walk down the memory lane.

In hindsight, Bombay - and the Single life - has indeed taught me a lot through my spinster days when I have been living alone. Other than taking care of the routine stuff yourself , you also do not have anyone to open the door and welcome you when u reach home!!  That apart, there are the usual traits of a girl living alone in a big, bad city and the typical adjectives that one would tend to use in such cases – Independent, Bold, Confident, Thinker, Intelligent (ok...the latter part was over-done :p) etc.

But there are a lot of things that I would probably miss from my ‘being a Miss’ days to my ensuing status change. Freedom, Flexibilities, a lot of ‘Me’ time which gives immense scope for introspection, living life on an impulse, vegetating on the couch before the Idiot box on holidays :p, and the list can go on.....

I do not know how much life is going to change post-marriage. New people, new relationships, new role-responsibilities, probably new locations too, limelight focus on the to-be-bride – these can really add on to an already stressed mind. But all I know right now is that I am glad I had this period of spinsterhood to discover myself (and at times, discover my friends!)  - it did help me cut down the raw elements in me and prepare me, to a certain extent, for facing sharper turns ahead in life!!

Do Opposites Always Attract?

Relationships - they are everywhere around us. Best friends; deeply in love couples; doting parents and kids; bosses and their men Fridays, teachers and star students; As I grew up, one question I have often asked myself is that for a relationship to tick – is it essential that the two parties need to be as similar as possible; or is it that opposites always attract.

There have been numerous examples in my own life. I have known the best of friends who are as different as chalk and cheese – different principles and ideologies; different likes/dislikes; different tastes in various subjects like art, music, movies, theatre, politics; different food preferences; they are simply not on the same wavelength. But still, they often seem to complement each other so perfectly that they hardly need a third dimension on any aspect.

And there is the other school of thought – Birds of a feather flock together; Individuals who choose to adopt this belief are almost like two sides of the same coin. They have similar tastes, likes/dislikes, characteristics, beliefs, opinions, preferences, et al. They want to do similar things all the time - the ones who believe that it is so much easier for people with similar attributes to carry on a relationship smoothly.

If we think through a possible rationale for like-minded people to be attracted to each other, it could be because they are least prone to any conflicts and are almost hassle-free - you hardly need to convince anything to your own mirror image.

However, my personal experience has been that even those who fiercely believe in like minds getting together, discreetly wish that a devil’s advocate existed in reality to bring forward different perspectives - after all, what is the fun if you do not have someone near you who can give a reality-check on your way of life. What I have also seen is that the choice to adopt either of the tendencies mentioned above are, by and large, dependent on the circumstances that one goes through at various points of time.

I am yet to figure out myself what works best for me – or whether is it possible, or even necessary, to distinctly skew towards either of these approaches; nevertheless, in most cases, a co-existence of both these tendencies appear almost inevitable!!

In(ter)-dependence

Amidst pouring rains, choc-a-bloc traffic and blaring horns of co-travellers, I had an interesting chat with a colleague over the level of inter-dependence of single (and independent) women in our societies. On one side was she – married with two kids, financially independent, but with a strong support system at home in terms of her family – narrating how her life has changed post-marriage and the role change she has undergone; and on the other side was me – single, with a fairly decent career, staying alone in the Big, Bad city of Bombay, and most of all, “Independent” – Well, technically, I was, but, didn’t realize my level of inter-dependence until I asked myself a while ago if that part was literally true.

The conversation did let me ponder over the levels of dependence we all have with various elements of the society – to begin with, am hugely dependent on my family as a support system too – though I stay in a different city from them, I land up calling home more than 4 to 5 times even on weekdays; dependent on close friends and the near and dear ones – for all the love and affection and the cheer they bring unto you on days, when you are low or even otherwise; dependent on your pals/chums – for all the fun things to do and make life a lot more lighter; dependent on colleagues – for all the professional assistance required; dependent on maid - for all the household chores and meals; dependent on neighbours and the society that am living in – to take care of any SOS requirements…..and the list goes on.

And I thought I was someone who could survive all on my own by myself even if I were to exist in an Island someday. Well, today was a wake-up call. At the cost of sounding clichéd, it did make me thank god for all the wonderful people in my life.

Independence - Seriously – Does that word even have to exist in our Dictionaries?.